A Little Less Sixteen Candles
by Glory For Sleep
Summary: Dates were never fun. Well, at least not for Registeel... Registeel/Regice


Hey peoples!

Well, I found out about this pairing from SilverUmbra, and it sounded interesting so I thought I would give it a try.

This is written to the same format of Douglas Adams' _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_, because that book is epic win and I wanted to give his writing style a try. Oh yeah, and this is named after the Fall Out Boy song "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More 'Touch Me'", so credit goes to them, too.

Well, that's all you need to know. Now read and pity my sad excuse for attempted humor. :D

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Pokemon.

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**A Little Less Sixteen Candles**

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-ooo-

"HOLY CRAP I'M LATE!"

Those very shrilling words sprang throughout the forest of Hoenn like the very Pidgeys that flew through it, who were now stunned/blind/deaf and therefore were crashing into hundreds of tree branches because of the one loud, echoing scream that had somehow managed to cause their eardrums to explode in a fury of ringing vibrations.

Ironically, following this very shrilling plea, Registeel, the Legendary Pokemon of, er, steel, was running through the towering trees on his small metal stumps for legs, which didn't really help his case as it just made him waddle quickly like some sort of distressed penguin. And, because of this, the Pokemon inhabitants of the forest stared bewilderedly (and somewhat hopelessly) at the steel Legendary, wondering simultaneously how the said legless being could've possibly been running so quickly on short flat stumps that seemed oxymoronic to be able to handle his heavy weight but yet manage to create a rushing dust cloud behind him in the wake of his unexplained and sudden strong urge to get somewhere in the speed of light.

Of course, Registeel didn't have time to chat with others and explain the mysteries that were dangling behind him, like his thin arms were, which, unlike his stumps for legs, sported movable appendages. These very long fingers twitched continuously while the said Legendary rushed through the forest as if he was auditioning for the role of the next Speedy Gonzales.

Which, you should know, he wasn't really doing.

In fact, Registeel wasn't late for an audition to anything, but instead a date he had scheduled a few months ago with his ice-type counterpart, Regice, who, unlike him, fancied people who were on time and therefore probably had a nice Ice Beam attack charged up for Registeel for when he finally arrived predictably late. Unbeknownst to Registeel, the said female Legendary had actually already frozen the mail-delivery Pokemon while he was in the act of giving her her mail because she had confused the poor Mightyena to be that of the steel Legendary – the very being she didn't favor as much as her other counterparts, therefore was still wondering why she would want to invite him to dinner at her place upon one clear night.

Unfortunate for Registeel, though, that night was tonight.

So, as the sun sailed across the celestial sky, painting it with the mesh of bleeding black to help signify the advancing nighttime, Registeel rushed across dozens of plateaus, rivers, plains, and other forests as his stumps for legs carried him across the continent, destination set on the ice caverns that housed Regice. And, yet again unfortunate for Registeel, these very frozen caves were miles away than from where he currently was, therefore practically pushing his regret for soon being late onto his consciousness and making his large set of dot-shaped eyes flash with lingering uneasiness among his flat, metallic surface.

Because of this series of unfortunate events Registeel was left rushing through every single type of environment in the book, simultaneously wondering on how all of the regions seem to sport at least one location of each environment type as if the Pokemon world was following some sort of pattern when it came to its continents' arsenal of environmental boundaries.

Well, instead for Orre, which sported only forests and deserts; but no one cares about Orre anyway.

Getting back on topic: Registeel soon found himself gasping for air, which seemed extremely weird as he had no nostrils, or lungs for that matter, after the steel Legendary had reached Regice's ice caverns on the highest snow-capped mountain in the Hoenn region. Of course, despite that Registeel was quite on time, seeing as how he made it with a few seconds to spare, the fact that he was too fatigued from his run across the continent to be able to enter the chilly cave haven of his ice counterpart right on the spot and announce his arrival only added onto the collage that was soon to be Regice's scold towards him for being – supposedly – late.

To save himself the hassle, Registeel rushed into the caverns before his aching muscles could even begin their whining about it, his dot-shaped eyes gleaming with what could be pronounced as sudden happiness. You see, Registeel was quite fond of his ice counterpart, which was the reason why he found running millions of miles across the continent on his stumps for legs just to spend a simple dinner with her oxymoronically worth it.

Eventually Registeel soon emerged into a dome-shaped room whose ceiling reached dozens of miles high and was illuminated with the bright blue of the encompassing ice. The steel Legendary would've been shivering like a hairless Arcanine during the winter time if the said metal-skinned Pokemon didn't lack the sensors living organisms had that told their bodies when it was freezing cold or scolding hot. Because of this Registeel was quite grateful to live like a robot, yet still be counted as an actual being with 'feelings' in the wake.

Speaking of which, the very feeling that most guys experienced when looking upon a beautiful girl (or nerdy ten-year-old boys when they were gazing upon their 'stunning' Rapidash warlock characters in that addictive online computer game: _World of Poke'craft_) surged through Registeel when the elegant ice figure of Regice emerged from a corridor on the opposite side of the room. Her shiny dot-shaped eyes that were strangely similar to Registeel's flashed with happiness at realizing that he was actually on time, which seemed really out of character for him although she decided to hold her tongue from saying such a thing.

…well, if she had a tongue.

Instead the female Legendary only pointed to a long table made of ice that sat in the middle of the dome-like room, in which Registeel wasted no time in sitting down at one end and placing his hands all wise-like in front of him as if he was trying to impress his ice counterpart with his sad impression of a gentleman. Of course, go figure that Regice didn't notice his hard efforts and instead measly sat down on the opposite end of the table, which seemed improbable for both of them as their legs appeared to have no bendable joints; but nonetheless the ice seats that came with the dinner table were quite comfy.

Ironically, in the act of engaging into a conversation with her steel counterpart about random subjects that didn't prove to be relevant about anything in anyway, Regice had completely forgotten about the meal that she had been cooking for the whole day straight just for the dinner that was already occurring. The said frozen Magikarp sticks and tartar sauce were far from being cold enough for Regice's liking, while Registeel pondered silently in his mind on how beings like them could even find ways of 'eating' with the fact that they lacked mouths.

Apparently, he was the only one among his counterparts that had finally realized this.

Eventually, with the fact that the odds of finding a restaurant who would deliver food to a high part of the mountains where it was practically lacking oxygen at this time of night was extremely low, the idea of dinner was disbanded and instead Regice led Registeel through her ice caverns, giving him a supposed romantic tour of her home. Registeel found the tour quite comforting and interesting, amazed on how such a haven came to be naturally, despite the fact that skeletons of early man were imbedded within the ice in some of the rooms.

During the tour Registeel had finally convinced himself that Regice wasn't a bad person to be around, seeing as how she was nice and sweet most of the time. In fact Registeel was certain that if he had been late she probably wouldn't have cared, although he was still unaware of the Ice Beam she had been charging earlier back when he was still at risk of being behind time.

Meanwhile, Regice had convinced herself that Registeel wasn't the nervous breakdown that the other Legendaries usually proclaimed he was, despite that he would stumble over his words whenever she asked him questions, even when they were humorously rhetorical. In fact Regice was certain that she wouldn't even need her tactic of using an Ice Beam on him anymore, as he was no trouble whatsoever.

That is, until he found out that there was a frozen Mightyena hidden in one of the closets.

-ooo-

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**The End**

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Yeah, I know, the events in this was completely random, and it was more humorous than it was romance.

Oh well, I'll probably write a more serious oneshot for this pairing sometime in the future...

...you laughing at my sad excuse for humor yet? xD


End file.
